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"Yet, one thing you lack, Katherine..."

I did not want to keep writing after I heard this in my spirit. But I allowed Him to speak to me anyway, "Yet, one thing you lack, Katherine. Discipline."

"Well that's embarrassing!" I thought, as I pondered the depth of His tender words to me. I sat on my bed with my pen and journal laid before me as I remembered an event from my early youth. I was about four or five at a family reunion. I wore a cute summer outfit with some kind of straps in the back, I'm guessing suspenders of some sort. I sat playing in the sand with one of my cousins when my dad sharply redirected me out of the sand.

"Don't be playing in the sand, I don't want sand in the van when we go home," he barked. I don't remember being upset at his command. I do remember waiting until I thought he wasn't looking to return to my "sand-angel."

It seemed, to my adolescent self, I was surprised abruptly being yanked out of the sand by my suspenders, and spanked in front of everybody and their grandma (literally). I remember my emotions flowing from surprise and shock, to fear and embarrassment.

I have learned to lean into these moments with Holy Spirit. I've learned to be inquisitive, open and receptive to these little whispers in order to fully hear what He wants me to know. (Of course, I have also learned to differentiate between the accusers whispers.)

I remembered with fresh recollection the utter fear and embarrassment I felt at that moment. Being yanked up seemingly out of nowhere and paddled in front of everyone. I am sure the tears that were shed in those few moments were tears of embarrassment and pain on my backside. Up until this very conversation with Holy Spirit, I equated those tears with fear and my long historical relationship with fear.

"Not all tears are connected to trauma, Katherine." He spoke to me. "Don't wait until you are surprised by My redirection to follow My instructions. I don't want the sand in our van either."

The words that He spoke following these statements were words of correction to me specifically in my walk. I am choosing to walk in obedience to the plan of correction, but the imagery here is applicable to every plan of correction He lays out.

He is a Good Father. A Good Father disciplines his children.

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